Over Spring Break, our family ventured into the Chickasaw National Park wilderness for four days of tent camping with friends from church. Bacon on the cast iron skillet, steak and potatoes, Kellie's Dutch Oven peach cobbler, sleeping in forty degree temperature with our dog Daisy and roasting wieners over the fire are some of the family memories we make while camping. This trip, however, will go down as the most unforgettable camping experience of our life.
On Good Friday, our son, daughter and friend's daughter, ten, eight and nine, decided to explore the campground on their bikes. A van (out of state tags with no back seats and a dog in the rear), female driving, male in his twenties w/ beard and piercings, rolled up. The guy hopped out asking our kids if they had seen a dog similar to theirs. Our kids, having been taught to never talk to strangers, much less ones luring you with a dog story, etc. approached the van to get a closer look. As God is our shield and protector, our friends teen age kids asked to go get "Dibs" ice cream at the Wal Mart in town. No one eats ice cream on a camping adventure and dads never say yes the first time teens ask crazy questions. Not our friend, though. He immediately jumped in his car with his two teens driving up on the scene of either a potential abduction or who knows what? God's timing is remarkable.
A minute sooner or two "We'll go in a little bit" laters and our families could have been scarred forever. Fortunately, God did not make us drink from that cup. Praise God that we are not solely responsible for the protection of our precious gifts from Him. Our kids rode home on their bikes a little shaken, parents freaked, but praising God for Dibs ice cream and His timing. It will be a Good Friday to never forget. God's grace is indescribable. I can't imagine life without His protection.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Dating your daughter
Dating your Daughter
I have never been accused of being a romantic. My poor wife got jammed in the romance department when she said “I do”. However, I have learned that to be the husband God has called me to be, I have to be intentional with this love language thing. That’s not just true with wives, but with kids, also. In his book, Never Mind the Joneses, Tim Stafford shares that it is critical for dads to go out on “dates” with their children.
“We do elementary training in how men and women like to treat each other. They give instructions on how to open doors, help with coats, use proper table manners and carry on conversation. Knowing how to treat a man or woman as a special and valued creature helps lay the groundwork for faithful relationships.”
So, last week I was given two tickets to a Hornets game at the Ford Center. I thought, “Great! This will be another dad/son time for Ben and me.” Before I could invite my son that night, my wife chimed in with “Why don’t you take Rachel on a date?” Take my daughter to the ball game? Well, that’s what I did.
The moment I asked Rachel, the countenance on her seven year old face
lit up. As the two of us drove to dinner at Jason’s Deli (I had a coupon!), Rachel said, “Daddy, this is the third date we’ve ever been on.” I almost wrecked the car. A guy’s mind doesn’t think like that. I could only remember one! She proceeded to describe all three dates in great detail.
We had a great evening together that night - one that neither of us will
ever forget. My daughter is still talking about it like we went out yesterday. As I reflected on our conversation in the car that night, I realize that I had learned three great lessons about raising kids:
1. From an early age, women remember stuff. I could not believe that my daughter recalled our date from when she was only four. I need to be aware of how much time means with her and how important it is for me to give her my undivided attention when we are together. I should model the way she deserves to be treated on a date.
2. Do not stereotype my children. I have a tendency to take my son, Ben, to sports stuff and my girls to frilly places. Rachel had as much fun going to the Hornets as I did! I need to continue to learn what makes them tick. Proverbs 22:6 (NASB95) says,“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
3. If I want my children to be protected in the future, I need to invest in them in the present . As men, we worry about the purity of our daughters in this generation of depravity. If I model the way a man should treat a woman before when my children are watching, at least they will have a standard for measuring future relationships.
Now you know my story. Can I pass along a challenge to you this
Valentine’s season? First, take your wife on a date where you give her your undivided attention and attempt that cheesy romance like you did when you first met. Your kids will notice and your wife will remember for years to come.
Second, go on a date with your each of your kids. If you have daughters, take them someplace that is special to them, listen to what they talk about, and enjoy just hanging out with them. It’s cool to take your sons out, too; take time to talk with them about how to make a woman feel special and brag about his mom. Your kids will forget about this long after you do.
Finally, PRAY for your children. Your investment today will pay great dividends for years to come.
I have never been accused of being a romantic. My poor wife got jammed in the romance department when she said “I do”. However, I have learned that to be the husband God has called me to be, I have to be intentional with this love language thing. That’s not just true with wives, but with kids, also. In his book, Never Mind the Joneses, Tim Stafford shares that it is critical for dads to go out on “dates” with their children.
“We do elementary training in how men and women like to treat each other. They give instructions on how to open doors, help with coats, use proper table manners and carry on conversation. Knowing how to treat a man or woman as a special and valued creature helps lay the groundwork for faithful relationships.”
So, last week I was given two tickets to a Hornets game at the Ford Center. I thought, “Great! This will be another dad/son time for Ben and me.” Before I could invite my son that night, my wife chimed in with “Why don’t you take Rachel on a date?” Take my daughter to the ball game? Well, that’s what I did.
The moment I asked Rachel, the countenance on her seven year old face
lit up. As the two of us drove to dinner at Jason’s Deli (I had a coupon!), Rachel said, “Daddy, this is the third date we’ve ever been on.” I almost wrecked the car. A guy’s mind doesn’t think like that. I could only remember one! She proceeded to describe all three dates in great detail.
We had a great evening together that night - one that neither of us will
ever forget. My daughter is still talking about it like we went out yesterday. As I reflected on our conversation in the car that night, I realize that I had learned three great lessons about raising kids:
1. From an early age, women remember stuff. I could not believe that my daughter recalled our date from when she was only four. I need to be aware of how much time means with her and how important it is for me to give her my undivided attention when we are together. I should model the way she deserves to be treated on a date.
2. Do not stereotype my children. I have a tendency to take my son, Ben, to sports stuff and my girls to frilly places. Rachel had as much fun going to the Hornets as I did! I need to continue to learn what makes them tick. Proverbs 22:6 (NASB95) says,“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
3. If I want my children to be protected in the future, I need to invest in them in the present . As men, we worry about the purity of our daughters in this generation of depravity. If I model the way a man should treat a woman before when my children are watching, at least they will have a standard for measuring future relationships.
Now you know my story. Can I pass along a challenge to you this
Valentine’s season? First, take your wife on a date where you give her your undivided attention and attempt that cheesy romance like you did when you first met. Your kids will notice and your wife will remember for years to come.
Second, go on a date with your each of your kids. If you have daughters, take them someplace that is special to them, listen to what they talk about, and enjoy just hanging out with them. It’s cool to take your sons out, too; take time to talk with them about how to make a woman feel special and brag about his mom. Your kids will forget about this long after you do.
Finally, PRAY for your children. Your investment today will pay great dividends for years to come.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
March Madness
Just for Dads –
March Madness is upon us! Does it get any better than this from a sports perspective? I can already hear the bands blaring out their fight songs with painted faces and crazy signs. How about the students (and middle-aged alums acting like students again) jumping up and down in unison as opposing teams shoot free throws? Miracle three pointers, choked lay-ups, exclamation point slam dunks. March Madness is here again!
Being a dad and raising kids in a sports-crazed community is another kind of madness altogether. No one said it was going to be easy bringing up sons and daughters in Edmond, Oklahoma in 2007. It is a challenge for fathers to lead your family to a healthy balance of putting God first, family second, then letting school, friends, and activities fight it out for third. Examples:
My nine year old son’s baseball team started practicing last weekend (that’s February) for the upcoming season. Teams like his will play multiple weekend tournaments to get ready for the season.
My seven year old daughter begins soccer practice this week – it will be her second season. Most girls in her league have been playing since age four.
So here’s the big question: As dads, how do we keep sports activities from consuming us and our families?
Maybe you’re like me. When the competitive juices get going, I start thinking questions like:
“Am I penalizing my kids by not letting them play sports year round?”
“Should I push them to play in the more competitive leagues?”
“Should I allow them to play after school with those kids who play in the lesser leagues?:
This really is madness. The truth is, it’s not just sports that dominate families like this any more. I have friends who say the same kinds of things about other activities for kids like music, dance, cheerleading/pom – and even academics. I’ll say it again, this really is madness!
Ecclesiastes 4:4 - “ I have seen that every labor and every skill which is done is the result of rivalry between a man and his neighbor. This too is vanity and striving after wind.”
As a former high school basketball coach, I consider myself a fan of the benefits that often result from extra-curricular activities. I have observed students learn great lessons for life through their participation in sports and other programs:
Learn a strong work ethic
Deal with success and failure
Build relationships with authorities and peers
Gain personal discipline
However, there is a downside, also. Living a life out of balance or placing any area of life above God is wrong - and ultimately leads to disaster. That includes driving our kids to perfection. In his book Never Mind the Joneses, Tim Stafford tells about a family that some can relate to. It is a sad legacy.
“(Christian parents) assumed that their girls would embrace faith. Because they were so confident, the parents left church and youth group and all other expressions of “God first” as optional. They worked harder getting their girls to volleyball tournaments than to church. Two of the girls play D-1 college volleyball, but none of the three is an active Christian.”
How can we train up our kids in a way that glorifies God – and keeps us sane? Below are some practical suggestions. (I’m working on these, too!)
Keep God first - and get Him first if you don’t have Him. Matthew 6:33 reminds us to seek God’s kingdom and righteousness, then He will supply all our needs. These words are true. If we put no idol before Him, He will bless us immeasurably.
Lead by example. Our children are watching. Do they see you excited about the game or about the things of God? They observe the God (or god) we worship.
Don’t love kids for what they do; love them for who they are. Performance oriented kids are set up for failure and low self worth (just ask any high school coach who has seen this happen too many times). Encourage them to be their best.
These are things all of us can do. Raising the next generation doesn’t have to be maddening – if we just take things a step at a time and follow the playbook God gave us. Our kids can tell a difference if we lead His way. Welcome to March Madness!
Ephesians 6:4 (NASB95) - " Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
Rob Hunt is the Director of On-Campus Small Groups at Henderson Hills Baptist Church. Rob and Kellie are blessed with three terrific kids – and all of them are basketball fans.
March Madness is upon us! Does it get any better than this from a sports perspective? I can already hear the bands blaring out their fight songs with painted faces and crazy signs. How about the students (and middle-aged alums acting like students again) jumping up and down in unison as opposing teams shoot free throws? Miracle three pointers, choked lay-ups, exclamation point slam dunks. March Madness is here again!
Being a dad and raising kids in a sports-crazed community is another kind of madness altogether. No one said it was going to be easy bringing up sons and daughters in Edmond, Oklahoma in 2007. It is a challenge for fathers to lead your family to a healthy balance of putting God first, family second, then letting school, friends, and activities fight it out for third. Examples:
My nine year old son’s baseball team started practicing last weekend (that’s February) for the upcoming season. Teams like his will play multiple weekend tournaments to get ready for the season.
My seven year old daughter begins soccer practice this week – it will be her second season. Most girls in her league have been playing since age four.
So here’s the big question: As dads, how do we keep sports activities from consuming us and our families?
Maybe you’re like me. When the competitive juices get going, I start thinking questions like:
“Am I penalizing my kids by not letting them play sports year round?”
“Should I push them to play in the more competitive leagues?”
“Should I allow them to play after school with those kids who play in the lesser leagues?:
This really is madness. The truth is, it’s not just sports that dominate families like this any more. I have friends who say the same kinds of things about other activities for kids like music, dance, cheerleading/pom – and even academics. I’ll say it again, this really is madness!
Ecclesiastes 4:4 - “ I have seen that every labor and every skill which is done is the result of rivalry between a man and his neighbor. This too is vanity and striving after wind.”
As a former high school basketball coach, I consider myself a fan of the benefits that often result from extra-curricular activities. I have observed students learn great lessons for life through their participation in sports and other programs:
Learn a strong work ethic
Deal with success and failure
Build relationships with authorities and peers
Gain personal discipline
However, there is a downside, also. Living a life out of balance or placing any area of life above God is wrong - and ultimately leads to disaster. That includes driving our kids to perfection. In his book Never Mind the Joneses, Tim Stafford tells about a family that some can relate to. It is a sad legacy.
“(Christian parents) assumed that their girls would embrace faith. Because they were so confident, the parents left church and youth group and all other expressions of “God first” as optional. They worked harder getting their girls to volleyball tournaments than to church. Two of the girls play D-1 college volleyball, but none of the three is an active Christian.”
How can we train up our kids in a way that glorifies God – and keeps us sane? Below are some practical suggestions. (I’m working on these, too!)
Keep God first - and get Him first if you don’t have Him. Matthew 6:33 reminds us to seek God’s kingdom and righteousness, then He will supply all our needs. These words are true. If we put no idol before Him, He will bless us immeasurably.
Lead by example. Our children are watching. Do they see you excited about the game or about the things of God? They observe the God (or god) we worship.
Don’t love kids for what they do; love them for who they are. Performance oriented kids are set up for failure and low self worth (just ask any high school coach who has seen this happen too many times). Encourage them to be their best.
These are things all of us can do. Raising the next generation doesn’t have to be maddening – if we just take things a step at a time and follow the playbook God gave us. Our kids can tell a difference if we lead His way. Welcome to March Madness!
Ephesians 6:4 (NASB95) - " Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
Rob Hunt is the Director of On-Campus Small Groups at Henderson Hills Baptist Church. Rob and Kellie are blessed with three terrific kids – and all of them are basketball fans.
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